May you Always Feel Loved (an Irish blessing for my children ....

10/17/2013

Dear Austin and Zack,

I found this writing in a book I picked up (it sounds a bit like an Irish blessing).  Immediately I thought of my precious boys.  I’m incredibly proud of you two and love you very much. 

Love,
Mom

May You Always Feel Loved (Irish Blessing for my children)

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone.

May you discover enough goodness in others to believe in a world of peace.

May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life,
And may you give these gifts as well as receive them.

Remember the sunshine when the storm seems unending.

Teach love to those who hate, and let that love embrace you as you go out into the world. 

May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them.

Remember those whose lives you have touched and whose have touched yours are always a part of you,
even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.
It is the content of the encounter that is more important than the form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.

Find time each day to see beauty and love in the world around you.

Realize that each person has limitless abilities, but each of us is different in our own way.
What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.

May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.

Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience

May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself,
And not be dependent on anothers judgment of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved

~ Author Unknown

In memory of Kevin videos ....

 I was thinking of my late husband Kevin today.  Sometimes I watch a video or look at a picture that makes me smile.  I'm sharing one of the videos that I made shortly after he died below. 
My children, Chris and I still watch these Kevin videos and look at photos from time to time.  Chris (My husband) understands this and is very supportive.  We keep Kevin's memory alive.  We remember but we don't live in the past.  
As a fellow widow once said "I love my husband but think of [and love] my first"  
  
  To view copy and paste link to your browser:  Hawaii ...   http://youtu.be/IIRN3wqF-30

Family .... http://youtu.be/KiUfKAC_NAE

Kevin and Cyd's baby boys .... http://youtu.be/KiUfKAC_NAE

Forget me never .... informative article about widowhood by Carol Brody Fleet

Forget-Me-Never: The Reality Of Remarriage After Widowhood

Posted: 07/15/2013 8:07 am

A few months ago, a well-known and much respected actor mentioned in an interview that he still thinks about his late wife. People were shocked at this "stunning revelation", as the same actor has been happily remarried for a number of years.
This sort of "shocked" reaction begs an obvious question. Since when did remarriage become an equation formula that reads:

Remarried = Forgetting
This latest in a long line of widowed-myths implies that once remarried, the life previously lived somehow fades into oblivion because the widowed has now found new life with new love in it. Because of this new life, the remarried widowed is apparently never again sad or wistful because their late beloved is no longer here.
Conversely and equally perplexing is the companion myth that once a spouse has passed away, the widowed should assume an attitude that they have "caught their limit"; that once their beloved has passed away, a widowed's destiny is to remain alone and longing for a life that is no longer here to live. A widowed should thereafter resign themselves to functioning in life with grief and mourning as their core and living a destiny that they did not choose.
The reality of spousal loss that is so important for both the widowed and those who surround them to understand is that:
You can honor your past
You can treasure your past
You can and should love your past
You do not have to live in your past
When it comes to love, our hearts are truly without capacity or limits -- if this were not the case, we would each have only one child because how could our hearts possibly expand to love more than one? We all have an infinite capacity to love and should that be a widowed's choice, finding love in a new life can and should absolutely be part of their dynamic.
Love is also not mutually exclusive one of the other. Loving again does not mean that the love for a late beloved somehow goes away. It doesn't. Furthermore, loving again does not dishonor or disrespect the person who is no longer here, nor does it disrespect the memory of that person. This is a concept that can create a fair amount of discord (especially within families) when a widowed finds companionship or love once again.
People who surround the remarried or re-partnered widowed can also interpret newfound happiness as not grieving "right", not having experienced grief at all, completely "forgetting" the past (as if that is even possible) or believing that we have collectively dusted off our hands and are glancing around as if to say, "OK, that's done and over with.... who's next?" The fact is that even in a wonderful new life, things like holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, "angelversaries" (the date of a late spouse's death) and children realizing various life milestones can all serve as painful reminders that someone who a widowed loves without measure is no longer here to celebrate, witness and in general, be a part of a life that was built with love
Almost thirteen years after losing my late husband, I can tell you without reservation that I still love him and I still treasure the life that we had together. However, I have also moved forward into a beautiful new life. Eleven years old when her daddy passed away, our daughter Kendall is now a young adult who enjoys a thriving career. After seven years of widowhood, I met and fell in love with a wonderful man in 2007 (who actually fell in love with me too), we married in 2009 and together, with my fantastic English daughter Michelle, we have built a beautiful blended family. To top it all off, I have the privilege of being on a mission of service and support to others in need.
Now, by living this incredible new life, does that mean that I have forgotten about or betrayed my past life? Absolutely not. Does it mean that after Mike died, I should have stayed inside the house in my pajamas and kept the blinds closed forever? What would that have accomplished? I chose instead to grieve in my way, in my time, help my daughter with and through her own grief recovery and slowly, yet steadily, move into a life of my own design - a design that happily included new love and new adventures to go along with that love.
The love that you have for your late beloved will never go away. Not ever. Not with the passage of time. Not with the introduction of a new person into your life and into your heart. Not with the 8 jillion people around you saying things like, "Well you should be over it by now". I am honoring Mike's legacies of love and service by continuing to move forward; by modeling the best example that I can for my daughters, by serving a community that I love and by building a family and living a life with my Dave, whom I love deeply. By doing all of these things, I am indeed honoring the legacies of love and service that Mike left to us to carry forward.
You can do the same, if and when you choose to do so.
Remarriage does not equal forgetting -- let no one tell you otherwise. Loving again does not imply lack of or the end of love for the past. You are not destined to remain in mourning forever... that isn't why you are here. Embrace and carry forward the legacies that were entrusted to you by your late beloved. If you choose it, living your new life can include companionship... and love. Choose carefully, choose wisely -- and love again abundantly.
Because you can.

In Memory of ..... a poem by Jan Philips (posted on a friend's wall a few days ago) Love it!

In memory of all the dead who gave their lives in any war.

In memory of those who survived but remain broken in body, mind, or soul.

In memory of a sermon on a mount that blessed the peacemakers and those who mourn.

In memory of the activists, artists, and original thinkers who were persecuted 

and imprisoned for the stands they took for peace and justice. 

In memory of all the teachers who said in a thousand different ways: 

Bring peace and light wherever you go.

In memory of the children who need us now to grow up and get along.

In memory of the earth, our forests, our seas, our mountains and rivers, 

our fellow creatures and all their habitats who count on us to do what's right. 

In memory of each of us, waking up slowly to the miracle of our lives.

 Jan Phillps

Charlie Chaplin, Chumzee, Osho, etc. quotes ....

I have forgiven mistakes that were indeed almost unforgivable. I've tried to replace people who were irreplaceable and tried to forget those who were unforgettable. I've acted on impulse, have been disappointed by people when I thought that this could never be possible. But I have also disappointed those who I love. I have laughed at inappropriate occasions. I've made friends that are now friends for life. I've screamed and jumped for joy. I've loved and I've been loved. But I have also been rejected and I have been loved without loving the person back. I've lived for love alone and made vows of eternal love. I've had my heart broken many, many times! I've cried while listening to music and looking at old pictures. I've called someone just to hear their voice on the other side. I have fallen in love with a smile. At times, I thought I would die because I missed someone so much. At other times, I felt very afraid that I might lose someone very special (which ended up happening anyway). But I have lived! And I still continue living everyday. I'm not just passing through life and you shouldn't either... Live! The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while being grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant.
༺♥༻ Charlie Chaplin ╰დ╮❤╭დ╯

Sometimes we have to be willing to let go of the relationships that do us much more harm than good. Too many times we work so hard in life to only be discouraged and told by others that we should be grateful for even having them in our own lives. I would much rather be alone than deal with someone who makes me not want to feel loved.At the end of the day, if we keep receiving negative signals from the people that we are in a relationship with, we shouldn't just avoid these feelings, we have to know that a change is needed.
Deal with the change that is needed. Don't pretend that your relationship is working out when it isn't, if it isn't going great, don't sacrifice your dignity

~Chumzee 

No one saves us but ourselves.
No one can And no one may.
We ourselves must walk the path.

~ The Buddha ~

Enlightened - Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern) Quotes

All I will say is that if you haven't been watching Enlightened check it out,
… though it may not be for everyone,  you’ve missed out on something pretty damn amazing.

"UGH, ‘Enlightened’ is so painful to watch. It’s so good, but everyone is just so horrible towards Laura Dern’s character and I just want to give her a hug and tell her that everything’s going to be okay"

LAURA DERN QUOTES:  

"I’m speaking with my true voice now, without bitterness or fear. And I’m here to tell you, you can walk out of hell and into the light, you can wake up to your higher self, and when you do the world is suddenly full of possibility of wonder and deep connection. You can be patient, and you can be kind, and you can be wise and almost whole. You don’t have to run away from life your whole life. You can really live. You can change and you can be an agent of change”

“My first love, my husband. My heartbreak, my pain. It feels so easy now. Here, you’re not the cheat and the liar. I’m not the nag and the shrew. And we’re not old or young. There’s no bitterness or illusions, no need for fear or hope. We’re just spirits drifting through this perfect earth together. We can be free of our sad stories. They float away till they’re like memories of a dream from the night before; shadows under the water and what’s left is pure life. Life is the gift.”
—
Amy Jellicoe (Enlightened S1E4)


“Everything can be transformed. Every single thing. Goodness exists. It’s all around. It’s just sleeping. It can be wakened.”
—
Amy Jellicoe, Enlightened

“Let’s be hopeful, you and me. We can try to do something and not just be dying. I’m so sick of dying.”
—
Amy Jellicoe, ‘Enlightened’

“Sometimes, late at night, visited by dread and shame, I lie in bed and think of somebody else’s life. I imagine the love that they’re getting, and the relief that comes from being really known. The private pleasure they share. The friends they have and the pressures they don’t. Their sense of importance, the satisfactions of their work. I imagine how fulfilled they are, how rich their life is.
And in these moments, I feel empty, and wanting.
Sometimes I think about someone else’s life. I imagine all the love they do not have. I see the passion that’s missing. The friends they don’t know, and the awful pressures that crush them.
In those moments, I realize how much I have, and how much I have to give”
—
Amy Jellicoe (Laura Dern)- Enlightened

“Blessed are the moments in life when the decisions are clear, when doubt shrugs and slinks away, ashamed of itself, and resolve embraces you like a long, lost lover.
Sweet certainty, where have you been?
No matter…
No longing.
No looking back.
Welcome the consequences when your heart is alert and lucid.
What bad can come?”
—
Amy Jellicoe, HBO’s Enlightened


“I’ve lived in a world full of not-good-enough mothers. Imperfect, bad mothers. But the mother is a child, too. She is a child. I will stop waiting for you to be the perfect mother. I will be patient with you. I will be tender. I will be the mother I wanted you to be."

“Everything can be transformed.  Every single thing.  Goodness exists.  It is all around.  It’s just sleeping.  It can be wakened.  If Levi can change anything is possible.  I will not be afraid, I will be bolder.  I will go straight to the top and breathe light into the darkest hearts. “ —Amy Jellicoe

“You can try to escape the story of your life, but you can’t. It happened. The baby died, the dog died, the heart broke. I knew you when you were young—I know your heart broke too—I will know you when we are both old—and maybe wise, I hope wise—I know you now, your story. Mine isn’t the one I would have chosen in the beginning, but I’ll take it. It is my story, it’s only mine, and it’s not over, there’s time. There is time. There’s so much time.”
—
Amy Jellicoe (Enlightened 1x04: The Weekend)

“This kingdom; this amazing kingdom we have made. This monstrous kingdom; its castles are magic. They are beautiful. They are built on dreams and iron and greed. They are inorganic and cannot sustain. No kingdom lasts forever. Even this will end, and life and earth will reign again.”
—
Amy Jellicoe, Enlightened

Anne Lamott Wisdom and Quotes

Slow-Mo Miracle

My family finally got the slow-mo miracle we'd been working, praying and healing toward. But the problem with miracles is that they don't necessarily make you mildly euphoric. They're not caffeinated, which is what I would prefer. You can be grateful and amazed beyond words that God, heard your prayers, jiggled things around, and speitzed them, to somehow help a huge problem in your life to resolve in a beautiful, surprising way. But it might leave you exhausted. I think a better system would be for God to honor frequent buyer punch cards, so every 10th resolution or miracle you got would be free.

I'm just saying. Your mind can actually be blown that, against all odds, things have shaken down and turned out in a way that you would have barely been able to hope for. But it still might mean your heart will ache.

If I were God, or God's West Coat Rep, I would have a much more organized and predictable system.

Take Lazarus, or instance. His sisters get their miracle; and even though he ends up dying eventually, we still see thatthat's what it was. Or say, for instance, that you have anorexic teenage daughter, who almost died, and instead, was shown a way out of No Way. From extreme secrecy and isolation, she ends up with a pit crew, or at least she has one amazing person to walk with her. She not only survives, but blossoms, fully, and then gets herself into a college 3000 miles away.

Well, a miracle, right? If you've been through this, you know how close you came to losing her. You know how far away from you the disease took her. And yet, now she's thriving, and your heart is so filled with gratitude that you could burst. You're Zorba the Greek. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

And yet, she's about to go live 3000 miles away.

That's all I'm saying: miracles aren't the same as nitrous oxide, which would be SO great, if you ask me. But no. Miracles means Grace must have tiptoed sneakily into the picture while you were busy with your clipboard, making lists and writing down all your Good Ideas on how to save, rescue and fix everyone. Miracles--even little brown paper bag miracles--are when you absolutely could not have gotten to where you are now, from where you were. But it may come at a cost.

God's provincence does not mean No Storms, which I hate hate hate. I would not agree to this, given a choice. By the same token--given a choice--I would not have agreed to grow four inches when I was 13, as my knees and elbows ached sharply for most of a year. And anyway, I've shrunk an inch--so I want my money back. Growing in body and spirit I hard.

That's what I've been thinking about, that sometimes you don't notice that you got a miracle, or ARE a miracle, because it's more of a mixed grille than you'd been expecting. There's joy and relief, but maybe also bittersweet feelings, and exhaustion. It turns out to be a quiet consignment store miracle, instead of something snazzier and perfect from Ikea. So for today, a) who asked me, anyways? and b) thankyouthankyouthankyou




 


















“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― Anne Lamott

Swedish House Mafia - Don't you worry child Lyrics

  To see video, click on link above ^^^

 3/11/13  My youngest continues to have some difficulty here and there about his father's death and also an odd family rift which happened several years after Kevin's death.

Lately I've  noticed him playing a song over and over called "Don't you worry child" by Swedish Mafia.  This morning I downloaded the song (it's catchy and fun -- thought it would be a good running song).  I listened to the words for the first time and couldn't stop crying.  I now realize this has been a coping song for him.  I love you Zack - I'm listening and Chris and I are always here for you, buddy -- don't you worry my sweet child, heaven's got a plan for you. 

I was bawling this morning when I heard the lyrics.

As the grief counselor told me soon after Kevin's death, the loss of a loved one never goes away ... especially for young kids. It's all too much for their young brains to handle. He told me that through the years Zack and Austin would continue to go back into grief. Young children relive grief over and over . He was correct. This year was the first time that Zack connected the fact that Kevin's death day was also my birthday. He was very upset at school that day and had to come home. This is around the day he started playing this song. I like to believe it helps him. It also helps me to share this with others who may face the same thing one day
http://youtu.be/1y6smkh6c-0
"Don't You Worry Child"

There was a time
I used to look into my father's eyes.
In a happy home
I was a king, I had a gold throne.
Those days are gone,
Now the memory's on the wall.
I hear the songs
From the places where I was born.

Upon the hill across the blue lake,
That's where I had my first heartbreak.
I still remember how it all changed.
My father said,
"Don't you worry, don't you worry, child.
See heaven's got a plan for you.
Don't you worry, don't you worry now."

Remember sons - What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger:  http://youtu.be/CH_dWijufDo 

Letting Go of Understanding by Madisyn Taylor

3/15/13

If you want to feel sad, live in the past. If you want to feel anxious, live in the future. If you want to feel peaceful, live in the now. A good way to ensure you're living fully in the present is to make sure you're using ALL your miracle senses - and seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching - and intuitively being - as much as you can in a day! Most people pay attention to mostly what they SEE around them. When you tap into ALL your senses MORE - this mindfulness brings an added appreciation for the beauty of life, PLUS it's a method to stop your mind from wandering to regrets about the past or fears about the future.
Wishing you all a mindfully happy day!

Letting Go of Understanding 

by Madisyn Taylor


We don't always need to know the deeper meaning of everything that happens in our lives.


All of us who seek to be conscious and aware regard our experiences as teachers, and we try to discern what lessons we are learning from the things that happen in our lives. Sometimes the lesson is very clear from the get-go, and other times we have to really search to understand the deeper meaning behind some event. While this search often yields results, there also comes a point in the search where what we really need to do is move forward. It is possible that we are not meant to know the deeper meaning of certain occurrences. Answers may come later in our lives, or they may come as a result of letting go, or they may never come.

We are all part of a complex system of being, and things work themselves out in the system as a whole. Sometimes we are just playing a necessary part in that process with a result larger than we can understand. It may have very little to do with us personally, and while that can be hard to understand, it can also free us from overthinking the matter. Sometimes it is best to see it in terms of clearing of energy. We can simply thank the event for being part of our experience and let it go. This completes the process that the occurrence has made possible.

To make this letting go official, we can perform a ritual, make a final journal entry on the subject, or sit in meditation with the intention of releasing the event from our consciousness. As we do so, we summon it one last time, honoring it with our attention, thanking it, and saying good-bye. We then let it go out the door, out the window, out the top of our heads, or into the earth through the bottoms of our feet, liberating ourselves from any burden we have carried in association with it.

So Healthy Recipes

Yummy Vegan Brownie Cupcakes - by Lara

Go to this link for this delicious and healthy vegan recipe.  http://allrecipes.com/personalrecipe/63566037/yummy-vegan-brownie-cupcakes/detail.aspx  *If you like it, give it a good rating :)

Yummy Vegan Brownies/cupcakes/cake

2 ¼ cups of whole wheat flour
2 cups brown sugar (can substitute  regular sugar if needed)
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
 ½ cup chocolate chips
½ cup canola oil
1 ½ cups water
4 tsp apple cider vinegar
1 over ripe banana mashed well ( I microwave my banana if its not squishy).

Combine all the dry ingredients and mix well.
Mix all the wet ingredients together.
Now pour the wet into the dry ingredients and mix well.
Add chocolate chips. Mix together....sometimes I add a little more for a sweeter dessert
Pour the batter into a pan which is greased (I use coconut or canola oil) and dusted (with whole wheat flour) and place it in a preheated oven.
Bake at 350 degrees for about 15-20 minutes or till the top looks cooked.

I add whatever I want...you could add peanut butter or peanut butter chips for something new and exciting?!

Peanut Butter Icing

1 cup creamy peanut butter (I use chunky natural peanut butter)
1/3 cup earth balance or margarine
 1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup powdered sugar
1/3 cup Almond milk or coconut milk

Melt butter and add peanut butter and stir well
Add vanilla and milk
Slowly add powdered sugar and keep mixer on until fully stirred

Top with chia or black seasme seeds or chocolate chips! Enjoy!!!

Confessions of a Smiley "Meme" Queen!

I'm somewhat obsessed by memes.  Some people collect rock, unicorns, etc.; I collect memes.  They've helped me through many of life's trials and inspired me to strive to live life to the fullest.  :D

Our basic family rules are so simple that even our new puppy can understand and demonstrate most of them. Be loving, be thankful, be happy, show compassion, and respect one another. Easy peasy, riright?

• These "rules" are more like common courtesy type things. We have a few more basic rules in our family (i.e. be truthful, be responsible, obey the law and have good manners comes to mind). But this is it folks. Is this too much to ask?

  
  
•  As parents, it's our job to help our kids learn all of these things. We have and want all the best for them .... we've tried to teach them the above for their future, for their own happiness, for their future bosses, their possible spouses, their possible children and for their and our world. So, young adults and kids out there, help us know that you are "getting" this. Please don't leave us hanging and wondering if all of our parenting was for not.

 

This meme makes me laugh. vvv  How true is this? Please tell me I'm not the only one. So, what I've learned thru the years in regards to this? - Be true to yourself, be kind, but tell it like it is. Speak your truth. So what if "SUDDENLY you are considered the mean one" ;D

 

This is baloney (of course) but fun.  My name is mifute.

3/25/13: 


3/15/13:

"The symbolism is this sculpture below is so profound...
Strong in the broken places....Gilded scars that highlight the tenacity and courage of a survivor....
Incredible!!" - Katie Maxwell-King

"When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful. "

3/20/2013: 
3/14/2013

This is a Deep and Profound message ...
Let's focus on being Alive ... and cherish all the little things...
And all that we take for granted ... ♥

  :D

 

LOL!