Knowing When to Let Someone Go.... Freeing Yourself by Madyson Taylor

Knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain in the long run. 

Just as a good relationship can have a positive impact on your life, stressful, draining, or imbalanced relationships can have negative effects on your health and well-being. It’s common to maintain a relationship because we feel the other person needs us or we believe that they will eventually change. We may also be afraid of hurting the other person or feel insecure in our ability to find new relationships. When this relationship is a family member it can be even more difficult to sever unhealthy ties.  But knowing when to end a relationship and acknowledging that the pain will pass can often prevent greater pain and feelings of loss in the long run. 

If you’re in a relationship that isn’t satisfying or one that has become unhealthy for you, rather than spending energy attempting to fix the problem or complaining, ask yourself what you really want from the relationship. Consider whether the other person truly considers your feelings or if they are willing to change their behavior. Ask yourself if you’ve often thought about ending the relationship or if you feel your bonds have atrophied. While every relationship has ups and downs, when there are more downs than ups or the two of you are bringing out the worst in each other, it may be time to sever the connection. Be honest with yourself and your answers, even if the truth is painful. 

Relationships thrive on honesty, communication, mutual caring, and time spent together. When one or more of these elements are missing, it may be that the relationship, no matter how passionate, simply isn’t worth it. It’s far better to end a relationship that doesn’t feel right than to hold on to it and languish in feelings of anger or resentment. Moving on without struggle, on the other hand, can be the door that leads you to a more nurturing relationship in the future

On Moving Forward from Loss by Michelle Steinke

"It's always interesting to me when people use the phrase "move on" or they tell me that my remembrance of my late husband is a slight on my new husband. 

Listen, grief is not a 5 step process and new experiences, joy, or love do not end grief. 

Case in point, at dinner tonight my 6 year old son asked me a question about Mitch. I answered and he followed it up with: 

"Mommy, I wish my Daddy was still alive".

This was said in front of my new hubby and our combined kids. No slight intended by his innocent statement. Just the reality of a baby boy missing his Dad in Heaven. 

There is no moving on - there is just moving forward into a new normal. Yes it is possible to honor the past while embracing the present. Yes it is possible to grieve while living happily beyond loss. The two are never mutually exclusive."

~Michelle Steinke

About

Michelle Steinke, trainer, speaker, and founder of 1fw is here to encourage everyone to ignite their fire for life after great loss. www.onefitwidow.com

A beautiful writing about loss and grief by Michelle Steinke

"5 and a half years ago the sun came up on a beautiful October morning. Nearly everyone in this world went about their business, complained about little petty problems, and missed opportunities to say I love you to the people that mean the most. 

In my little corner of the world time stood still. I was experiencing a deep pain that I can not put into words, an agony that ripped at my soul, and took me to the a depth of emotions that few can understand at such a young age. My best friend had taken a flight on a cool morning and never returned.  

Despite my disbelief the sun came up the next day and it has come up every single day since. People's lives returned to normal and mine was forever altered. This was not a reality I asked for but it was a path I was thrown on in the most careless of ways.

Today, as I watched the sun rise I thought of those who might be living a similar reality today and how their hearts hurt in ways words do no justice. The hustle and bustle of life takes over and we forget that our problems and daily struggles are very small compared to the struggles of many.  

My thought for those who are in pain today is this.....

Life can and will be beautiful again in time. The timing of your new journey depends 100% on you. Grief has no timeline that keeps a score of right or wrong. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. However, you must be open to new life in order to move forward from active grieving. You must be willing to live post loss.

My thoughts for those who are stressing the small things today....

Ask yourself if it will matter in a year before you decide to waste a moment of anger, sadness, or regret on the situation. Most of life's small struggles are just lessons in disguise so open up your mind to your teachers and recognize how you can grow.

Life is beautiful for me today not because it is perfect but because I've lived with enough pain to recognize what's worth true anguish and what is not.  

Much love to you all...."

~Michelle